Oh Canada! Whatever have I done to you? I feel like I’ve slighted you in some way. Like I’ve somehow offended you.
Why do I think this? It could be because I’m insane, but it’s mainly because I’ve not had any Amazon Canada sales recently. I got a sale in Germany not long ago and was like, “Woo Hoo! Cool!” English isn’t even an official language over there, and still someone bought my book.
But, Canada, you people speak English (and French, too, but that’s not the point). The point is you speak English and, presumably read in English, too, yet, you somehow shun my book. Now, I’m sure the more sane among you are saying, RJ, Canadians buy many books but there are plenty more they don’t buy. The fact that they’re not buying your book too (in addition to the other thousands of books that they don’t buy) doesn’t mean you’ve done something to offend them.
Still, how can I be sure? I fear they’re upset that I didn’t mention what became of their lovely country when I wrote the Life First series. I discuss how the United States dissipated during mass pandemics that nearly wiped out civilization. In it’s place there formed a new country: the Federation of Surviving States. However, I never said what became of Canada. Did that great nation survive the pandemics intact, or has it too been replaced using just a portion of it’s former name (like maybe now it’s Coolada or Canlive)? Is that why you shun me, Canada? Is that why you refuse to buy one single book from me?
Well, here is my promise to you, dear Canadians: I will make this right! In the near future, I will let you all know what happened to Canada after the pandemics. I’ll post the info here on my website. Doing this, hopefully, will satisfy your lust for vengeance (OK, perhaps that’s a bit melodramatic). If I’m not quenching a lust (or perhaps a thirst?) for vengeance, at least take this act as a show of good faith and pick up one of my books, because I’m tired of being hated by Canadians. I’m a human being with feelings, and it hurts that an entire nation would ignore me. My husband just rolled his eyes and said: “Mexico, Japan, Spain, Brazil (and blah, blah,blah) are shunning your books, too. Are you gonna plea to them?” (People, do you see the negativity I have to put up with? ) I can’t make a plea to everyone, but Canada is just across the way. I want friendly, neighborly book-buying relations with them. Is that so wrong?
I love you all, my Canadian friends. I love you more than Amazon who won’t even set up Author pages for the Amazon.ca. As such, here’s a link to my Amazon.com Author page and my book links on Amazon.ca: Life First and Second Life (Please note: Amazon does not port reviews from one site to another, unless the person who wrote the review specifically checks a box, so there are fewer reviews on the Canadian page.) Much love your way, Canada!
For those wondering about the Friday Fun Stuff post, this was it for today. It’s true that I love Canadians but it’s a tongue-in-cheek post. Have a great weekend.