I was out last night and stopped at the store to pick up bagels for my kids. Unfortunately, I stopped at 8 pm and the bakery section was depleted. No bagels. So, I decided to buy a couple of other things I needed.
As I was pushing my cart to the checkout, I looked down and realized I looked like some kind of psycho (I may very well be a psycho, but I hate to look like one based on the contents of my cart). So here is what I had in my cart:
There is nothing logical AND normal anyone could do with just these four products: two tubes of toothpaste, a box of two gallon Ziplocs and organic diced peaches. I mean, maybe you torture someone by smearing toothpaste in orifices it doesn’t belong, pop a bullet in their gray matter, dismember them and stuff them into the Ziplocs. Of course you’d celebrate with four single serves of diced organic peaches! But, that’s not normal. Or maybe you could use the toothpaste to play crude college pranks and smear your floor with the diced peaches, telling people it was vomit. Again, not normal. And we’ve left out the two gallon Ziplocs.
Or…. Wait, I’m digressing. The point is that these items together in a cart hint at a bizarre pathology, a sense that something just ain’t right.
So, what would you do with these items if you took them home? And don’t say brush your teeth and store large food items (that’s too normal). Have you ever seen anything in another person’s cart and thought, “that’s a nutcase there”? If so, what was it?
And why was I getting these items? I needed them. My daughter was out of Silly Strawberry toothpaste. I was out of my own toothpaste (the Jason). They rearranged the aisle in the store and I walked past diced peaches while trying to figure out where they’d moved the toothpaste and decided to pick up the peaches for my son. And finally, my husband loves two gallon Ziplocs. He likes to store oblong items in them (don’t ask).