Oh Canada! Whatever have I done to you? I feel like I’ve slighted you in some way. Like I’ve somehow offended you.
Why do I think this? It could be because I’m insane, but it’s mainly because I’ve not had any Amazon Canada sales recently. I got a sale in Germany not long ago and was like, “Woo Hoo! Cool!” English isn’t even an official language over there, and still someone bought my book.
But, Canada, you people speak English (and French, too, but that’s not the point). The point is you speak English and, presumably read in English, too, yet, you somehow shun my book. Â Now, I’m sure the more sane among you are saying, RJ, Canadians buy many books but there are plenty more they don’t buy. The fact that they’re not buying your book too (in addition to the other thousands of books that they don’t buy) doesn’t mean you’ve done something to offend them.
Still, how can I be sure? I fear they’re upset that I didn’t mention what became of their lovely country when I wrote the Life First series. Â I discuss how the United States dissipated during mass pandemics that nearly wiped out civilization. In it’s place there formed a new country: the Federation of Surviving States. However, I never said what became of Canada. Did that great nation survive the pandemics intact, or has it too been replaced using just a portion of it’s former name (like maybe now it’s Coolada or Canlive)? Is that why you shun me, Canada? Is that why you refuse to buy one single book from me?
Well, here is my promise to you, dear Canadians: I will make this right! In the near future, I will let you all know what happened to Canada after the pandemics. I’ll post the info here on my website.  Doing this, hopefully, will satisfy your lust for vengeance (OK, perhaps that’s a bit melodramatic). If I’m not quenching a lust (or perhaps a thirst?) for vengeance, at least take this act as a show of good faith and pick up one of my books, because I’m tired of being hated by Canadians. I’m a human being with feelings, and it hurts that an entire nation would ignore me. My husband just rolled his eyes and said: “Mexico, Japan, Spain, Brazil (and blah, blah,blah) are shunning your books, too. Are you gonna plea to them?” (People, do you see the negativity I have to put up with? ) I can’t make a plea to everyone, but Canada is just across the way. I want friendly, neighborly book-buying relations with them. Is that so wrong?
I love you all, my Canadian friends. I love you more than Amazon who won’t even set up  Author pages for the Amazon.ca.  As such, here’s a link to my Amazon.com Author page and my book links on Amazon.ca: Life First and Second Life (Please note: Amazon does not port reviews from one site to another, unless the person who wrote the review specifically checks a box, so there are fewer reviews on the Canadian page.) Much love your way, Canada!
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For those wondering about the Friday Fun Stuff post, this was it for today. It’s true that I love Canadians but it’s a tongue-in-cheek post. Have a great weekend.
I’m with Yvonne, I don’t check my stats that often anymore. I’ve given up hoping for too many sales and by extension, reviews. When I used to check, I had sold in Canada, but… Oh, you made me look. Nope. No reviews. At this stage I’d love to get another review from anywhere I’d even celebrate a 1 star.
I usually like seeing a new review come in, though I don’t think I’d go so far as celebrating a 1 star, even if it were by a new Canadian purchaser. Perhaps I should take a page from you and Yvonne and check less often. Then perhaps I’d be pleasantly surprised.
Heh, yeah, maybe I overstated my want for reviews. Although any review is better than no review imo and if someone takes time out of their schedules to pop a review up, I’d have to thank them for that no matter the star rating. 🙂
Canada sales are hard. I’ve gotten a few – and a couple of great reviews from Canadian readers, but the US and UK remain my prime markets.
Reviews from Canadian readers–wonderful. You’ve gotten farther than I have. Maybe I’ll get lucky and get a review or two from Amazon Canada (even if they just borrowed the book from a friend across the border).
This is funny, RJ. Even more so as I am Canadian; write here, live here, and have my books or sale here, too. Do I sell books on-line here? No. Nor do I sell them in the U.S., Germany, Japan … you get the picture. I never even look at my stats unless I happen to go to my account for other reasons.
Maybe we should meet up over coffee some time so we can loudly bewail the indifference of my countrymen together. We’ll have our books on the table with a sign that says, “Help a starving artist. Buy my books”. We’ll wear ashes on our faces and our raggiest clothes. Pity might work as a motivator. Or it won’t. lol
LOL, Yvonne. We should do that! I guess Canada is a tough country to gain the reading love of, even for their native sons and daughters. Well, we can’t give up on Canada. We’ll have to keep trying. I bet they adore you forever if they just get that one taste. 🙂
😀 So do I go out with a spoon?